Kristin Brabant is a life and business coach who empowers female entrepreneurs and professionals to lead careers and lives on fire. With nearly a decade of experience in facilitation and coaching, she’s supported corporate executives, incarcerated youth, and mompreneurs in pursuing their life’s biggest goals joyfully.
Kristin’s approach to coaching is part structured, part spiritual. She weaves together formal training at the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching with years of performance coaching experience and the spiritual practices she’s come to trust in two decades of study.
Today, Kristin joins the podcast to share the story of how she created her unique coaching practice, what a great coach can add to your life, and how to launch a business that truly serves people and will give you fulfillment for decades to come.
In this podcast interview, you’ll learn:
If you enjoyed this podcast, you can connect with Kristin and get access to her free 3-video mini-course to help you stop procrastinating and take action here.
Andrew: Kristin, welcome to the show. So great to have you on board. How are you today?
Kristin: It’s just really an honor and such a joy to get to be on your show with you today.
Andrew: We’re, full disclosure listeners, I did have the chance of… It’s been probably almost about six weeks or so where Kristin and I spent three days with other likeminded entrepreneurs, speakers, business owners and really learning about our story and how we can present our story and connect with our audience on an emotional level.
I am super excited to be a part of the mastermind with you as well.
Kristin: I am so excited to be a part of it too. It’s just really a gift to get to meet similarly ambitious but like heart centric kind of people who love what they do but are excited to explore their potential. Those are the best kind of people to surround yourself with and it’s just so cool to get to have met you at the event. And then be there with you now. I’m really looking forward to it.
Andrew: And listeners I hope you’ll be able to hear the energy that Kristin has. And it’s something that it’s pretty powerful and definitely think that’s why people are drawn to you.
Listeners, what the purpose of our show as you know is to help business owners, entrepreneurs and even individuals build wealth, find purpose and that is a perfect pathway to, with Kristin, what you’ve accomplished, what your motivation is in working day by day. And you growing both personally, spiritually but then how you as a life coach have…
What you’ve done is you’ve niched it. You focused on… Your core focus is helping female entrepreneurs achieve their biggest professional personal goals. So how did you get to this point and finding that passion to help this specific audience? Give us a little back story on how you got to where you are today.
Kristin: Gosh. I imagine it’s somewhat similar to every person listening which is, it’s a twisty windy road and you figure it out one like little bread crumb at a time. And for me it started… Where it really started Andrew was actually when I was young. And I think any woman that I work with is feeling that call to go for more but unsure what that calling is because I think there’s a lot of pressure right now for people to go ‘follow your passion’.
And people are like, ‘What the hell is my passion?’
And for me it really started when I was young and I tell anybody who’s looking for what am I really put on this earth to do and contribute? I say look at your childhood. So I look at my own child and where it really started was getting bullied actually. And when I was in middle school I was… Middle school is such a terrible idea. Throwing all these kids together that are in like the thrills of hormonal ages. It’s such like a blissful existence up until they’re halfway through the sixth grade.
And then things really went south Andrew. And to make a long story short, I was ostracized from my friend groups and I was severely bullied and followed around by mean girls into teacher’s class rooms. Like it was pretty pathetic. I’d go and eat my lunch alone, in my teacher’s classrooms to just try and hide out and they would follow me in there and whisper the most hateful things into my ear every single day. And then at an age where all you want to do is fit in was exactly when I was being made to confront that I was not objectively fitting in.
And it was deeply painful. But what happened next was I had the real blessing of having a father who would pull me aside each night. Every day I’d come home and I’d cry. And every night he would take me for a walk around the park and he would just listen. He would ask me how my day was and I’m sure it was heart breaking as a father. And I know you’re a dad Andrew, and I can’t even imagine what this would be like on the other side. I’m not yet a parent.
But I’m sure it was heart breaking to know full well when he asks me how my day went but it was not going to be good. And I’d share with him what had happened that day and instead of jumping in and trying to fix my problems for me, he would like ask me to seek to understand where these girls might be coming from. What might be going on in their lives that they would be reacting this way to another person. And he’d also encourage me not to just lay down and take it but to fight my own battles but do it obviously without violence.
And all of this I came to realize was really the beginning of my coaching. I had somebody modelling for me how to dig deep and ask questions, get really curious about my own reactions, not blame other people for my circumstances and instead turn it into my own fuel and motivation to be like the best version possible of myself.
Andrew: I think that’s incredible because so many times the parent would, especially in today’s world, the helicopter type parent. They would come in and they’d, ‘What is wrong with the kid, the other kid?’
And come into school and cause this angst and make it worse. I just think about with my daughter being 13 and there’s ups and downs which is you guys walking around and him just helping you understand that other people are going through things and it’s not you. So that is a testament to him.
Kristin: It really is. That will forever be with me. And there were other instances where he did this too where he just wouldn’t jump in even when I begged him to, to try and solve my problems. Because that’s always more convenient. When you’ve got someone to solve your problems for you. And he wouldn’t. He would talk through with me how I could stand up for myself and what I wanted.
He’d always push me to think about what did I want out of this. What was my end goal here? And what was going to be the strategy, was going to get me where I wanted instead of going to default reaction mode and being a victim of my own emotions or my own ego. And so, I had this great foundation and I grew up in a family to where the book shelves were lined with… I mean like all these amazing teachers, Andrew.
Like Tony Robins, and Lees Hay and Mary Anne Williamson and Wayne Dyer. And I would sit and pull these books out from the bookshelf or go to my spiritual center that I grew up in. It was very hippy-ish and read these books. So these ideas that I could create the reality that I wanted, that was fully within my control That instilled in me from a really young age. And so I got these foundational ideas and I went on a path to becoming a teacher and I was so certain that was my calling.
My mom was a public-school teacher. My grandma was a public-school teacher, my aunt was a public-school teacher. And my cousins were public school teachers. It was like every female in my family that I admired was a public-school teacher and my biggest mentor in life was a public-school teacher. So I was so convinced that’s exactly what I was put on this earth to do. But fast forward to getting my bachelors in teaching and then teaching and then going for my masters.
I was in my master’s program Andrew and I was miserable. And I wound up quitting and it was the first time I had quit anything in my life. I’ve always been… In the past I’ve always been really pushed myself and how this kind of unreasonable expectation of excellence and quitting was like a fake horse than death in my own mid. And everyone was encouraging me to actually stay in the program but this was the first time that I really listened to my intuition against all reasonable myths that was saying like this is after the economic crash around 2008 and everyone saying like you need a degree to be safe. You need a degree to keep yourself protected in this economic climate.
Against all these in, I just said, ‘It’s not supposed to be this miserable. Like it’s just not. Something is wrong. I know what it feels like to put in hard work but this is something in my gut telling you this is wrong. Then I had to figure out what was next. if it’s not teaching, what was it? And this is another thing that was really foundation on my coaching was you’re in this dark moment of you break from this old identity and then you’ve got to pick yourself back up and figure out what the heck is next. And that’s really scary.
And what helped me get through that was just paying attention to what gave me life. Paying attention to what gave me energy and following that. Doing more of that and doing less of the things that sucked the life out of me. And that led me to working at a non-profit and doing some corporate performance coaching. And eventually, I got that same feeling of like okay, after another three or four years this isn’t right. But again I had to think about what’s giving me life. You don’t throw out the whole experience all together.
It’s paying attention to what from this current experience, even though I know it’s time to part with it what’s giving me life and what’s sucking it out of me? And that’s when it became really clear to me, it was time to start my own business to do coaching my way, with the people that I wanted to coach and that revealed itself to be female entrepreneurs. And that’s how we’re here today on this wonderful podcast, Andrew.
Andrew: Thank you very much for sharing. When you think about you making these tough decisions which I know as we’ll go through is what you spend your days helping your clients, your coaching clients understand, visualize and help lead them which I love your life a life on fire. That’s kind of your motto. Did you have somebody while you were going through these major, major decisions where everyone’s telling you to do this where the economy is telling you to do this.
Did you have a coach? Anybody that you confide in that actually took the other mindset and said go for it or was this all on you at the time.
Kristin: So, when I was parting ways with my master’s program, the truth of the matter is, no. I didn’t have anybody who was like ‘Kristin, go for it. That sounds like a great idea. Quit that masters that you flew all the way from the other side of the country for to go do.’
I moved from San Francisco to Boston for this masters. And no one was like, ‘Kristin that sounds like a great idea. Just quit.’
So that was actually a huge blessing because that teaches you to listen to your intuition even when it scares the crap out of you. And generally when our intuition talks, it generally says things that we wouldn’t… It would be so much more convenient to ignore. It doesn’t typically tempt us to like go do something that’s comfortable. No, it usually asks us to do something terrifying. So no, I didn’t have anybody that was like, ‘Kristin, that sounds like a great idea. Quit masters and just go for that unknown career.’
But when I was going for starting my business I had a significant other. I had a boyfriend at that time that was such a rock for me. And he could see the pain that I was in, that pain that comes from keeping yourself in a situation that on an intuitive level, on a gut level, you know it’s not right for you any longer. And we know. You know, you know. But it’s just inconvenient. And normally we’re suppressive. We dust it under the rock because it’s not the right time, we don’t have the right money or whatever it is.
But he could see that pain I was going through and just said like, ‘I know you can do this. I know you’ve got this.’ And he was patient with me. He let me make that transition on my own time and I won’t say when I was ready because you’re never ready to do those scary things. But he was patient and let me do it on my own terms. And what really helped honestly for me to kind of kick myself in the pants and just go for it was putting a date on the calendar.
I actually had a coach who was like, ‘Kristin’s just put a date on the calendar about when you’re going to leave.’
And I was like, ‘I can’t put a date. I don’t know. I have all these …’
And like that queue, the litany of excuses about why I couldn’t pick a date by when I was going to leave. But I did it just to appease her and get her to stop talking and leave me alone to be honest. And I forgot about it. I let it go.
But I kid you not Andrew, I was in a one to one with my manager so I set the date as August. And I left it that vague, August. And come midway through June I was on a one to one with my manager at the time. And I opened my mouth. He asked me, ‘So, how are things going Kristin?’ And before my conscious mind could catch up with the words that were flowing out of my mouth, like truly this was… This was some kind of other worldly experience. And I don’t have many of these in my life.
But this one really stands out where the words just flowed out without me even thinking of them. And I said, ‘I’m going to leave to start my own business in August.’
And I was horrified when I actually heard like this coming out of my own lips. A relief of panic went through my body, my chest tightened up. I was sick to my stomach. But that’s what I really feel. Like it’s like when you set an intention, you don’t need to know exactly how you’re going to make it happen. I mean, really that’s grace. There’s something outside of ourselves.
I don’t care what you call it. Call it energy, the universe God, spirit, something takes over for you and is your strength for you when you don’t have it within yourself. And that’s what kind of took over in that moment. And helped me just say I’m leaving. And I didn’t even wind up leaving in August. I wound up leaving in September. But that’s not the point. That’s what kickstarted the process of just putting it out into the world, I was going to go and do this thing.
Andrew: And for those that have had a mentor or guidance whether be from a parent, a teacher, and a lot of business owners they can’t do it on their own. They have their staff, they have their day to day but there’s nobody to talk to. So many different outlets but if we have somebody who’s not worked with a coach or somebody who’s holding them accountable, can we talk high level of the power of what a coach does, a life coach.
And I look at that as not just life but business and accountability. What are some of the values that somebody should look for in a coach? And then we’ll dig in to how you work in your realm of both accountability, spiritual visualization.
Kristin: Absolutely. So when you’re looking for a coach, I mean we back it up and just say what can a coach add to your life. You got a coach for anything really. But the kind of coaching I do which is business coaching combined with life coaching. What that can add to your life is I would come in and help you get crystal clear on what it is that you want to create. That’s what kick starts the creative process. That’s what kick starts making this career and life on fire, your big dreams, that life that you really are genuinely excited to wake up to.
That’s what kickstarts it. It’s getting clear on what you want to create and how you want to feel while you’re doing the thing. And then it comes to figuring out a clear enough plan about how to get yourself there. And I say clear enough because you don’t need the 30-point plan. That is our ego talking. And that’s just a tactic for delay. I’m very good at that tactic for delay personally. It’s like, ‘I just need to figure out.’ I’m like, ‘I just need 75 steps more and then I’ll be ready.’
But the truth is you really just need to know some, I call it five milestones. Pick five milestones between where you are and where you want to be. Consider those your goal posts. And then you just need to know the next three steps and what a coach will help you do is figure out that pathway to creating the business and the life that you want to lead. Figure out the path to get there and then hold you accountable to doing what you say you are going to do to make it happen. But more than holding your accountable, because a friend can hold you accountable.
It’s working with you through the fears and eliminating the beliefs that will inevitably come up as you commit to going for more. So when we commit to going for something bigger, something that asks us to expand who we are, our subconscious mind freaks out. Our subconscious mind is designed to keep us safe and it’s constantly scanning environment for what’s safe and what isn’t. And it codes safety as things and people that we’ve experienced before.
So if we’re setting out to go for a goal that we’ve never before accomplished, it is going to be screaming and sounding off the alarms that this is an unsafe situation. And the way that it keeps us safe, our subconscious mind, the way that it keeps us safe is by throwing up every belief, fear, whatever that has stopped us before in order to keep us right where we are because that’s safe.
That’s where it knows we’re going to live to see tomorrow. So it’s actually well intentioned. Often times you kind of see those means and things that like kick you in the face. And I’m like, well the fear is always going to be there. And it’s well intention, quite honestly I think what you’re scared of the most is pointing you in the direction of what you’re most meant to realize in your life. What you’re most meant to contribute.
Generally the most fear surrounding what you’re most meant to do. So it’s actually like a compass. And I say follow it. But a coach is going to work with you through every single limiting belief and fear so that you don’t let those hold you back like you have in the past. And this time, you really deal with them. You confront them and it’s not that that they go away forever. It’s no that you are not scared.
I’m scared all the time to be honest. But I don’t let that fear dictate my actions any longer. I go for it anyways. And that’s what a coach will help somebody to do.
Andrew: Most of the clients that you work with, have they already chosen this path and they are in a sense following that dream, they’re on that business, they’re turning the side hustle into something that is their life or is it more of what you just indicated where they are in the path that they know deep down isn’t right but they’re scared. Whether it’s I can’t do it because financially I can’t make it happen or I’ve got small children or I’m going to fail. Do you help those people who are down the path or you being the teacher would have been miserable but what happens is you get stuck.
And how do I get unstuck? Is that where your value comes in as the clients that you work with or already made the leap and now you’re helping them excel on all those levels.
Kristin: It is both actually. So I work with both camps. I work with existing experienced female entrepreneurs who maybe started their business in a different context of life or started their business quickly and it’s a lot of energy that we invest into starting a business. But they haven’t gotten to the point where they’ve realized their business is now running their life instead of empowering and enabling the life that they imagined whey they have time to be with their small kids and watch them grow up or they have that freedom to travel that they dreamed of having.
And was a big part of why they wanted to start this business and leave working for somebody else in the first place. And I help them redirect their business so that it’s supporting the lifestyle that they want to experience too. So that they get to live as a person they want to live as while they lead the business that they want to lead.
And then I also work with women who might be in their corporate job, have that calling to start their own company, to go for more. But are just paralyzed with fear like you were talking about and help them to get started on the path of starting their own business which is equally exciting to me.
I really love working with both of these types of women.
Andrew: You talk about knowing that this is the calling with just the little bit that I’ve known you and the time we spent together, you kind of exuded each and every breath that you take and that’s something that looking back, I’m sure you still had that while you were going through and following that other path that wasn’t as right on as where you are on now. That’s something that I think it’s infections as you’re working with your tribe, your clients and that’s powerful.
When you can put yourself in their shoes. Because think about your business. You started it, you left, you said August, left September. Did you even have a client lined up when you said, ‘I’m starting my coaching,’ or what did it look like.
Kristin: It is so ludicrous which is why I love my story.
I had one client Andrew. And like any sane person would be like, ‘That’s not going to keep the lights on sister! And like what the hell are you doing? But I had one client and I am a funny balance between the big dreamer and the like anything is possible as well as the pragmatist who’s like, ‘And we still like health insurance.’ So I gave myself this kind of, this agreement where…
This took a while for me to actually get this agreement. This wasn’t something that just popped into my head spontaneously. I got myself to the point where I said, ‘Okay. I’m going to stop looking for a part time job and I’m going to give myself one month where I go all in on starting this business.’ Because let’s be honest, Andrew, I came from a public-school teacher background living in the Bay Area of California. And savings were not full length at that point.
Andrew: Wait, you’re saying $40,000 isn’t going to get you very far in San Fran… I had no idea.
Kristin: Well, you know I’m talking to a wealth advisor so this might come as a shock to you but yeah $40,000 wasn’t exactly going to be keeping me afloat for the rest of my life. l wasn’t going to be retiring at 24. Let’s say that.
And so I had a month. That’s what I had. Was one month to go all in, on my business meaning I’m not going to go for a part time job. I’m going to go all in on this business, see what I can do and if at the end of that month I can pay my rent, and I can pay my groceries and I can pay my utilities I’m going to give myself another month. I wasn’t even going to put health insurance on the bill because I was like, ‘All right, let’s be real here. I am 27 years old and I’m moderately healthy. I think I can swing the three months grace period that you get for being uninsured.
And worse comes to worst I’m going to go to urgent care.’
So I really thought through these steps about like okay, where am I going to budge and where am I going to be a stickler. So my one month trial… You know honestly Andrew my last day was a Friday. That Sunday of the weekend after I quit my one client shot me a text message and said, ‘I know this is crazy but would you have any interest in coming and speaking at this event that I’m putting on?’
And I was like, ‘Hell, yes. I would have some interest coming and speaking at your event.’
Do I have any clue what I want to say? Nope.
Am I going to figure it out? You bet sure.
That one event, that one speaking event is what led to my next three clients. So by the end of month one I had enough to keep the lights on, a roof over my head and groceries in the refrigerator. And so it went. So I started with one client… That’s to answer your question, yes.
Andrew: And I assume too you were probably at that point still working out your processes, the courses which we’ll get into your whole coaching program was at that point, I would assume if I’m not mistaken that you were kind of going with it on the fly, make it happen as you went.
Kristin: Absolutely but I will say that behind all of this too I had hired a coach in January of that year and I was already investing in… I was paying essentially my monthly rent. Then again in a coach. So I had been preparing myself to launch this business for six months until I got my first client. And then it was another three months after that first client before I started really making the space for this business and getting more clients. So it wasn’t completely on a fly.
I invested in it. I invested in my dream and I hired a mentor. Somebody who was a master coach, who had been a coach for 20/25 years before anybody knew what the hell a coach was. And he really helped me to set up my processes, to set up my system and while my coaching program was my own, he made sure that I knew how to really take care of a client. And have the systems in place to take excellent care of a client.
And I wouldn’t have known how to do that had I not invested in a coach for myself.
Andrew: Yeah, you do talk about that in the little bit that we’ve talked through on some of the stuff that I’ve seen on your side of the key is you got to invest in yourself. Even if you’re not ready to make that jump, you have to invest in yourself and that’s not just finding a coach but finding the right books, finding the right outlet whether it be yoga, whether it be spin class, whether it be… I know you’re big into meditation but having those routines that help you stay focused.
So listeners we all have dreams. They are not just going to come. They are not free. You’ve got to spend the time but also the resources and take that risk. So that’s a testament to you with building that out from the get go. I think probably without coach you wouldn’t have been making that… You might have just continued down…
Kristin: I completely agree. And I think that it’s old wisdom that in some respect you got to cut the lines on boats. You can’t give yourself a plan B. Can’t give yourself so much of an exit plan when you’re really following your gut and your intuition on what it is that you’re going to create. Because if you do, when you’re scared out of your mind you’re going to reach for that exit door.
You’re going to reach for that easy way out. And I think for me cutting the boats and sticking to my goal of starting my own business was that terrifying investment in a coach, which was way beyond my means, Andrew. It was not a financially sound decision. Had you been my advisor you’d have been like, ‘This is reckless.’
But I was following my intuition and you’re going to make it work. And that was really one of my first experiences of following my intuition but backing it up with a financial investment where it was like, you’re just going to have to make this work.
You’re going to figure it out and when you have that ultimatum on yourself, you do. You truly, truly do. You do figure it out. We’re incredibly resourceful people and we don’t give ourselves enough credit for just how intelligent and adaptable and resourceful we really are. So I’m a big believer in you need to make these investments in yourself. And quite honestly if it scares the crap out of you, well that might be just exactly what you need to push yourself into this next stage of being where you rise into a state of excellence that you’ve never before found yourself in.
Andrew: There is a lot of correlation in what we do here at Bayntree because from our stand point we look at it so much more than the money. It’s looking at a client’s whole picture, holding them accountable, understanding their emotional impact of life as it happens. Life transitions. We talk about it. And then as a coach or a planner that’s really working for their client in the right way, sometimes and I’m sure you feel this too a lot of times we’re acting like psychologists. We’re helping, we’re listening things in regards to where the divorce happens, they lose a job, the market starts going one way or the other.
But it all comes to if we have a plan then we can take a lot of the emotion out of it. And that’s with working with a trusted team and over the years guys I’ve worked with coaches and mentors. And I think the one thing that I’ve always taken away from that is it always holds me accountable. It holds me accountable and it gives me a resource to, it’s not so much I’ll say vent but just to uncover and talk about things that maybe I don’t talk with anybody else on.
And so we think of businesses and I think as we get into this century, it’s all about niching. So you as a coach looked at all this value you could bring in and you said, ‘I have a specific audience I know I can provide my best work’.
And so when you made that decision to say I’m going to work with females or business owners, entrepreneurs or just want to get their life on track. What was your thinking there and why you provide, what niche, which I think is a great move. But how did you make that decision?
Kristin: That also was a work in progress. It wasn’t kind of like sit up one morning and I’m like, ‘I’m going to be a coach for female entrepreneurs.’ That was something where I actually took the advice of my own coach and now it’s wisdom that I pass on to my clients of get out there and try serving a variety of different people. And then just pay attention to like with whom you come alive the most.
I’m a big believer that you follow the energy. And that might sound a little woo woo but it’s really not. We’re at our most effective when we’re the most alive, when we’re the most energized. People can feel that. I don’t care if you have never picked up a spiritual book in your life, you feel people’s energy. If they don’t like what they are doing it’s repulsive. You don’t want to be around them. But if they love what they are doing they are shining and they are like a magnet.
And you want to be around them. So if you can put yourself out there and test serving a variety of different people, and look at it as an experiment. And just pay attention to with whom do I really come alive and shine the most and feel the most energized. And with whom do as kind of a lackluster response. And just keep following where the energy flows. You’re going to figure it out and that’s what it was for me. I coached a bunch of different types of people and just because I started my coaching business doesn’t mean that I hadn’t been coaching before that. I had been coaching for about eight years in different capacities before that.
And so I had coached kids in the juvenile justice system in Ventura California. I had coached kids in housing projects in Los Angeles in Long Beach California. I had coached individuals in the corporate sector doing performance coaching. And then as a teacher you often serve as kind of a guidance counsellor for youth as well. So I had coached all different types of people. And then I started opening it up to women who wanted to start their own business or who already had their own business.
And that’s where I felt myself come alive the most. And I realized after only doing a lot of trial and error and just following that very unclear path of energy of, ‘Am I coming more alive here or not?’ And just kind of feeling around in the dark it was only then after doing a lot of trial and error that I realized that nothing gives me more life than being a part of somebody else’s unfolding and sharing their gifts with this world
Like that is when I came alive the most. And the thing that excited me the most was when we were talking about this unfolding and sharing of your gifts with this world through your own business. I absolutely loved that the most, And that’s how I decided okay, this is what I’m going to do because it gives me the most life.
Andrew: And even, going back to the time that I remember, we walked to grab a coffee, and listeners just to see. You kind of mesmerized, it was somebody I don’t know if he was waiting for a coffee, it was a younger man but just the way you connected with him and he started opening up and telling his story and things that you got out them in like three minutes was incredible. I remember that and that’s what’s cool about what you do. It’s you’re not just saying, I’m only going to pigeon hole and help the female entrepreneur. But you’re helping people on a daily basis.
That was really cool. I don’t even know if you remember doing that because you probably do it day in and day out. But very cool to see that and to see the passion and the energy that you’re able to impress upon somebody and have them open up.
Kristin: I really, really appreciate that. I think we all have those types of activities where things just feel easy. It’s not that starting a business is easy but there are those activities where we do them kind of naturally. And for somebody else might look at that and be like, ‘How did you do that?’
And for us it’s kind of second nature. Everybody has that. You’ve got that Andrew. Everybody listening has that. And if you can figure out a way to turn that natural gift that you’ve got into a way to be of service in this world, you’ve got yourself a really great business that’s going to give you life for long time.
Andrew: I look to me, 20 years in this business and obviously there’s ups and downs and now running a business with ten employees but I still have that, where I feel the most at ease and where I can bring my best value is sitting side by side with a client. This term energy whatever you’re in, whether it’s business-wise or personal there’s a time when I know I’m truly connecting with that client and you feel the energy. You can feel it.
And some people suppress it or don’t understand the power of energy and this is also in personal as well where you can just feel it. And that’s a special notion when you’re getting into that point and I think even if the person you’re with doesn’t feel it they subconsciously do. And when you think about visualization, so that let’s go through… And I know there’s different ways on how you can get somebody to get clear vision of where they are going to be most happy and part of that will be in the show notes where you have the mini-course which we’ll go through.
But can you give the listener who maybe doesn’t have the coach right now or doesn’t have the ability to just make a change, what are maybe two or three things that you’d do or that you can give tips and strategies to help the visualize where they are going to be most effective, where they are going to be most powerful, where they are able to provide their best self-moving forward in their life and the people they can help.
Kristin: Absolutely. So you were talking about the tool of visualization. So I’ll start there. Absolutely practicing some blend. For me I like to be a blend of meditation, visualization and prayer. It’s basically quiet time. It’s quiet time where I tune out the noise of the world and the noise of my own head because it can get pretty loud and pretty obnoxious up there. And I get quiet and I get in touch with an intelligence of a higher order. I get in touch with a higher part of myself. Not the lower base self that’s always worried and full of fears. But that’s higher self that knows that it’s going to work out, that knows there’s a bigger plan in store for me.
And the way that I do that is by practicing like I said this blend of meditation, visualization and prayer. And so what that looks like is spend a few minutes just closing my eyes and doing some deep breathing and you can call it meditation. But I just get quiet for a second. And then I actually do a bit of a prayer where I just acknowledge that I am connected to a source of energy that’s larger than myself. And that’s flowing through me and I set an intention.
This practice of visualization, how I start is I get quiet and I do some deep breathing for a few moments. And then I just consciously acknowledge that I am connected to this energy that’s bigger than me, that it’s flowing through me. And I set an intention for what I know to be true. What it is that I want to have happen or that just that don’t know what’s going to happen but I trust that everything is working out for my highest and best good.
That is what I need personally to relax enough, to get into the visualization state because I have a nifty little habit of trying to control things. So I need to do something where I surrender that controlling tendency and just trust that I’m being taken care of. Then I’m ready to get into visualization and that is simply just being in a relaxed state and calling to mind energies of you leading your best life, of you leading your best day even.
You can visualize a meeting that you’re going to facilitate later that day that perhaps you’re feeling anxious about. You know that a lot is on the line in that meeting. Let’s pretend even you’ve got a company and you’re going to be pitching to investors let’s say. Visualizing you thriving, shining, every word is coming to you in the exact right way. You don’t have to overthink it. And you’re looking at the audience and they’re responding to you with energy and enthusiasm.
And you’re having fun up there. You’re being playful. This is what I mean by visualizing. Just seeing yourself and others responding to you in this highest, full on. Or you can extrapolate it to something bigger that you are leading the business of your dream, you’re going on a vacation that you want to go on or visualize the home that you so want to live in with your family or maybe you’re working your tail off so that you can put your daughter through college and see her crossing that graduation stage beaming with such a bright future ahead of her.
These are the kind of images you call to mind. And what makes visualization effective is attaching to those images the feelings, the physical feelings in your body that you would experience if you were really living that right now. When you do that our nervous system does not know the difference between those images passing across our mental wavelengths and something happening in reality in this physical reality outside us. It doesn’t know the difference.
When you attach that image in your mind’s eye with an emotion and a feeling in your body and so that codes it as safe in your subconscious mind, getting back to this kind of like the theory of the mind and how it works. That codes it as safe in your subconscious mind. When something is safe in your subconscious mind then you start to figure out ways and attract to you the resources and the people that will help you to make it happen.
So that’s what makes visualization so effective. It’s playing it through your mind over and over and over again, this vision of success so that you get yourself on board with that this is what’s happening and it’s perfectly reasonable for me to expect this kind of success because look, it’s played out before and look how great it feels. That’s what enables you to get into that creative space and make it happen.
So visualization absolutely. Second thing, I would have somebody do is I would have you pick up a journal and a pen and write out what are the moments when you come most alive. And something that I do with some clients who are maybe feeling very confused about their next steps, sometimes I have them do an exercise that is called consolation and desolation journaling. And it’s actually kind of like an old spiritual practice and what you do is consolation are moments in your day that give you life that give you energy. And so what you write is just a C for consolation, just a little coin in your journal.
I want you to write down like five or ten consolations from your day and then D for desolations. those are the moments in your day that suck the life out of you. Do that for a week every single day at the end of your day. It takes you no more than three minutes, five minutes. Quickly write them down and then look back and pay attention to what’s adding life, giving life to you and what is taking it away and you’re going to notice some patterns. You can do that or you can just simply just go for it all out and ask yourself when do you come he most alive?
Start journaling about that. When in your life have you felt the most shining and the most alive? When have you been the most magnetic? What were you doing in that moment? Pay attention to that. And I would also have somebody journal about when they were a kid, what did they always dream of doing? Often times our childhood has clues to what we’re meant to do. And it maybe that you dreamed of being an astronaut.
But that’s not necessarily what you want to do now but think about why did you want to be an astronaut when you were a kid? What was it being an astronaut? What did that present to you? And that’s going to give you some clues about what your being called to step into in this next phase of life. Often times I work with women who want to become an author or they didn’t know that they wanted to become an author but then I ask that question of like, ‘What did you gravitate towards as a kid? What did you do naturally and with joy? Nobody had to cajole you to do it, it just flowed.’
And often times they are like, ‘Kristin, I’ve been writing since I was four years old. I was writing my own stories but I just over the years, often times these childhood dreams we become trained to say what’s practical, what’s not. Like what’s a viable career and what’s not a viable career. And often times we dash those childhood dreams because they get thrown in to the bucket of impractical. And I always just direct people to pay attention to your childhood and what you gravitated towards naturally. So I’d do some of that journaling and the next thing I would suggest to somebody is what is the simplest way that you could get started following your curiosity?
You looked at these patterns of what’s bringing you life, what would be the simple way for you to get started following that curiosity, that spark? Whatever is shining call interest right now, what would be the simplest like least disruptive way for you to get started acting on that? And let’s say you’re working your nine to five job but when you come home at night all you dream of doing is art work.
Well could you then make a 30-day challenge for yourself where you spend five minutes creating a piece of art and you let it be crappy. It’s five minutes. Give yourself a shitty first draft. But you do that for 30 days and then see what happens, see where that leads you. That’s what I’d recommend. It’s the visualization can bind with some of this dedicated reflection time and then taking a simple action step to not give a nod to that curiosity. Try it out and see what happens.
Andrew: Those are great points and listeners if you’re at the gym or driving and were not able to write down those points Kristin has got a wonderful way for you to at least take this first step. The call to create course which is one of the courses that helps you find your passion, your calling, well in our show notes you’re going to have the ability to get a mini free course. And Kristin I believe it’s a three video training along with the work book that’s going to help you visualize and overcome those fears, stop delaying, procrastinating and taking action and then as you hit upon this visualization which so many people want to do they just don’t know how to do it, you’re going to help guide them through in this mini course to help them gauge out where they should be.
Kristin: Exactly. So I’ve got free three video mini course that’s designed to help you first get clear on what your next big move is, what you’re being called to do next. Get over the fears that are holding your back from even getting started on it. It’s not as simple to just kind of get started on it if it were so easy you would have done it. So I give a workbook to help you work through those fears that are holding you back from taking action.
And then I finish it off with a challenge to help you get into action and I offer a five week course, a much longer course where I give my best materials for helping you get very clear on what it is that you’re being called to do next and create that plan of action. And there’s accountability systems to get you started on it and to overcome every obstacle that comes your way and stick with it. And what results from that? I’ve had women launch their company that they’ve wanted to launch for the last five years and they do it in 28 days.
I’ve had people start the non-profit of their dreams from that course. I’ve had people make the big career pivot from… They were doing office work and to really, the neuroscience feel that they wanted to be in that they had the degree in but they weren’t acting on. These incredible results. I have found it is really as simple as just getting started even when you’re feeling around in the dark and we create clarity by taking action and this course is designed to get you over the hump of your own fears and into the space of taking that unceremonious, imperfect messy action.
Andrew: Love it. I love it. And there’s no way to get to where you need to be without work and that whether you do it on your own or following through with some of what Christian has, I know on your website too you have some essential tools both on the business side, some on the podcast that really invigorate you, certain apps. Like head space, a lot of people like how do I get into meditation. I know I have to declutter my mind and meditation. I hear it’s this, that and the other. But I don’t know how to do it.
Head space is definitely one that can help at least somebody who is nervous get into that and working with meditation and visualization, it’s going to help you get out of this constant 24/7 technology and really get you focused and re-energized
Kristin: Exactly. So I’ve got a whole page on my website that I call The Goods. And on the goods page, it’s where I list everything; the books, podcast, the apps and the business systems that I use every single day to ground down, get in touch with myself and also do my best business. Do my best work, serve to the highest capacity possible. And all of those resources are linked on my website. It’s free, you don’t need to give me your email or anything to get to it.
It’s just there to help you lead that career in life on fire.
Andrew: And also in the show notes will be, not just the website but on digital, our social media, your LinkedIn, your Instagram, you’re doing some really good work out there. Listeners, she’s got, Kristin has got great videos. I think you just go off the cuff. Sometimes she’s right besides the ocean and she’s going through what’s in her heart. So definitely, definitely follow Kristin and get in touch with her.
I think her conversations they are free, you can learn little bit of where you need to be. So this has been incredible, you’ve said it all, you’ve got a lot more to say I know but I know you’ve got a busy day here.
So thank you for coming on. This has been great and again, if you’re not a female entrepreneur you still take some value from this. We can all take value, having a coach, having accountability, having somebody to get you they can take you from where you are to where you should be. That’s the goal of finding that purpose. So as we leave today, Kristin anything you want not end with?
Kristin: I mean the only thing I would end with is just piggy backing off what you just said. Even if you’re not a female entrepreneur, please reach out. I mean, like I said, nothing gives me more life than working with people and playing some kind of role, and helping others live as the people that they are meant to live as. Just serve in a way that they uniquely created to serve. And so if you’re looking for a coach and you don’t fit exactly my target, reach out anyways. I want to help you find that persons that you get started doing your life’s work, what you were put on this earth to do.
So I can’t wait to talk with more folks and it was such a joy and a true pleasure to talk with you Andrew, thank you.
Andrew: You’re very welcome. And I look forward to seeing you in just about six weeks or so at the next event with Bo Eason. Let’s do it. All right guys. We covered a lot. We appreciate the time as always. And stay tuned for later this month for a brand-new episode of your wealth and beyond. Happy planning, find your passion. We’ll talk real soon. Thanks everybody.